Wizards to Cast Expansion Spell on Norton Art Gallery to Accommodate Everyone for Harry Potter Dinner

Dax LaCray Business, Lifestyle Leave a Comment

SHREVEPORT, LA. – Shreveport residents got a crash course in economics over the weekend as Norton Art Gallery offered tickets to a Harry Potter themed dinner –  Expecto! – in late July. Tickets sold within minutes and scores of would-be wizards were unable to secure a spot at the dinner, leaving them stranded with muggles and hungrier than Nearly Headless Nick.

“Harry Potter was important to me growing up,” says Stephanie Hawking, 1st year Hufflepuff hopeful, about the popular series of books and movies. “[Norton Art Gallery] said they would have tickets on sale at 9 AM on Saturday, but when I showed up at 9:05, I couldn’t get a ticket. I was so mad, I muttered Avada Kedavra under my breath!”

The popular art gallery contends that nothing was amiss, rather the event was more popular than originally anticipated. “We just could have never anticipated that Shreveport was so interested in Harry Potter. Most of the curators on staff insisted, ‘this is a Fast and Furious town. No one likes Harry Potter here like they do in Austin,'” 3rd year Ravenclaw, president of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare – Shreveport Chapter (SPEWS), and Norton Art Gallery Public Relations Officer Rachel Polk tells The Crayfish. “We just managed to sell out, which struck many people as odd since we have limited seating, even though there were nearly 1,300 comments expressing interest in the tickets. This place is just not capable of holding that amount of people. Everyone is acting like Ron about it.”

Still, those who missed out have not given up and plan on doing something about it. “I tried to buy tickets at 9:10 AM and could not get them. Someone has to answer for this. There is no way anyone can sell out that quickly,” says local Slytherin wizard Gene Frumpkins.

The Crayfish followed Gene to bus stop 9 3/4, which lies somewhere between West 70th and West 71th Street. Inside a secret entrance, we found ourselves in a local wizard enclave dubbed Hogport. “We wizards of Shreveport have been practicing our spell to make things grow in size. This will get us all into the majestic dinner,” says Gene before demonstrating the spell, “Engorgio!”

Gene states the spell has saved him more than one time in the past. “Saved myself on viagra in 2002 and have you ever wondered how the Monjuni’s portion sizes got so big? That’s right, it was me.”

The city now waits to see if the wizards are successful. In the meantime, a DeWalt trucker hat paid for by redeeming barcodes off old packs of Winston cigarettes has been selected as the sorting hat for the event.

Hat tip to field reporter Jessie Owens for the story lead.