Allegiant Air Now Charging for Oxygen

U. R. Meisenschein Business Leave a Comment

 Last month, Allegiant Air officials announced a new pricing system that will include a $250 surcharge per passenger for in-flight oxygen. In a news conference last week, Allegiant Air spokesperson Randy Miller explained the change.

“Allegiant will still offer the same low one-way price of $57. Now that price will also include small charges for luggage, restroom usage, qualified pilots. Oh, and oxygen.”

Not everyone is happy with the changes.

“It’s a little misleading, “ Benton resident Donna Jones said. “My ticket to Las Vegas was $57, but with all the add-ons it ended up being $450 one way. Not to mention, the only thing between you and almost certain death is one puny oxygen mask.”

The new change has not come without problems. In a dramatic event five days ago, Allegiant employees allegedly disconnected the oxygen mask from an elderly woman who erroneously received oxygen in-flight that she had not paid for. The event is still under investigation.

In a statement, Allegiant released a message blaming the customer for the oversight.

“It was made abundantly clear to the individual at the ticket counter that she had not paid for oxygen for the flight, but she proceeded on board anyway. The flight attendants assumed she had paid for the oxygen but when it was discovered she hadn’t, Allegiant employees worked quickly to rectify their mistake – somewhere over the Texas Panhandle.”

Jacob Stephens, seated behind the elderly passenger, witnessed the whole event.

“It’s a little disconcerting to watch another human being seemingly smother right in front of you,” Stephens said. “They wrestled with her awhile. I mean, she put up a pretty good fight, but they finally got the oxygen mask off. Anyway, as the hypoxia set in, the poor old lady couldn’t even do simple arithmetic problems – yet another hapless victim in the corporate takeover of America. I guess economy travel comes with a price – and sometimes that price is your life.”

Next year, Allegiant is planning on adding surcharges for wheels, ailerons and vertical stabilizers. According to Mitch McKenzie, an airline passenger advocate, things are not going to change any time soon.

“Sadly, this is a trend,” McKenzie said. “Passengers will have to get used to the latest in budget travel hiccups. The airlines are going to squeeze as much money out of you as they possibly and inhumanely can.”